This has seriously got to stop. This is almost pathological behavior, and I don't know why I'm doing it anymore.
Each and every night, it's the same story. I end up staying up till some ridiculous time, do a half-hearted job on each assignment... often just dismissing things altogether. I'm doing it even now, as I write this entry.
Well, to be truthful, I do know why I do this. On some level, I don't care. I know full well the consequences, but the stuff I have to do is really trifling almost 99% of the time, and it just... doesn't seem important. And the thing is, I can get by like this, at present... for IB, this behavior may come back to haunt me a little more, but there's little doubt that I'll continue in this pattern that ultimately only makes things more difficult.
As for whether or not to do IB? All that added work, and for what gain... Yet there's no question I'm going to do it, because there's always been this particular mindset I have, which dictates that I'll take the most strenuous/"highest level" classes available to me, regardless of how important it really is. This, too, makes me sigh.
Anyway, despite my long-standing comparative slump in academics, I don't have any fears about keeping up in college. In fact, I long to go as soon as possible. I know college has its share of worthless classes, but you don't have to put up with all the authoritarian bullshit with which high school is so inundated. I also have reason to believe there may be some sort of discernible correlation between lecture attendance and success in a class, whereas at present, I miss stuff all the time, only to find that -- surprise! -- nothing of significance was accomplished in my absence, or whatever it was turned out to be just busywork.
Say it with me now, kiddos!